Changing families

As I grow closer to my church family (along with my husband and son) I find myself growing farther away from the rest of my family. The thought of spending time with my blood relatives (I won't include my in-laws in this topic) is quite unnerving to me and I have, for the most part, quit doing it. They tend to be a pessimistic and/or superior group of humans. There isn't any place to be who you are, only what they expect or want you to be. I find it extremely surprising that the belief still exists that someone can't or doesn't grow mentally after their 18th birthday. Doesn't anyone pay attention to scientific research about how our brains change for most of our life? What about the old phrase "mellow with age"; doesn't that imply change? Even though I have successfully held the positions of wife (14 years) and mother (12 years) for some time now, I am still viewed as a problem waiting to happen. These people have changed; how do they not see my change? Perhaps they don't see their own. I'm sure I am not the only person on the planet to be viewed suspiciously because of actual behavior modification, but I always thought it was your family who was supposed to be cheering you on from the stands; not talking to you through the screen door. I realize my church family only knows me as I am now and not as I was, which puts an entirely different dynamic into play and can explains some responses, but since I never caused any of my relations anything but inconvenience (no body or property damage) I kind of hoped for more.